Thank you for your comment! It's quite difficult to get input on a project so it's appreciated.

I agree with your point, concerning transitions- I will look into making them more organic and informative.

I disagree with having scenes with side characters interacting for the sake of adding extra relationship or background information or for atmosphere. I have considered various ways of adding extra narrative but, it seems to me side dialog will break the pace of the story. Also, it could easily end up with what they call in playwriting a feather-duster scene (side characters talking about the main character). On a side note, one of my pet peeves with furry VN writing is there is too much trivial dialog that doesn't move the story along; something I work hard to avoid.

That being said there are constant relationship reveals among the characters throughout the story, some in the dialog but a lot in the images. I realize that's an unconventional way to handle storytelling in the visual novel format but over the course of the story I think it will work. We'll see.

Now the story POV does change in chapter 4 from limited third person to episodically limited third person. Looking over the chapter again, I probably should tighten up that transition. It's complex but comparisons to children's books is a bit of hyperbole.

Again thanks for the input, it's very helpful!

Shunaka